The Value of Values
Tips for building business relationships
I have deviated from my normal conversational “way” with clients over the last several years, and it has me thinking about the way I view business relationships (an ever-evolving perspective I’ve been noticing). If you’re like me, you may have been taught that professionalism above all else is what takes you far. Particularly, as women, we must put our man-hats on to gain a seat at the table or have 30 seconds of talk time in a board room full of men. Subconsciously, what’s been communicated to me through a number of channels is that to get ahead, gain respect and do well you must talk, act, and think a certain way. Now, if you’re new here and have never met me… you know that’s simply not who I am to my core- I’ve always gone against the grain. Yet, I’ve subscribed to the ideas here without realizing it.
Thinking back to when I was a leader starting out in my career, I valued rules, process, and those who were able to follow those things well more than I valued anything else. I subscribed to this myself, holding myself to a high standard — not just in the work I produced, but in the way I talked, walked, and dressed. After all, it was early 2000s and gaining share of voice as a woman was even harder back then. But really, it had less to do with my sex and more to do with what I’d been taught a “business professional” was. Those who worked with me then would attest that my greatest strength as a manager was certainly not compassion. I was terrible. And while I’ve grown A LOT since then-stepping into empathy based leadership after a life changing experience-I still am learning to work through the idea of being human, particularly when it comes to client work.
My book Leadership Lessons from a team Captain explores the idea of being human, relatable and much more as a leader. But I hadn’t paused to think about how it relates to the way I conduct business with clients in a similar way. In some ways, without realizing it I have created a dynamic with clients that they’ve valued. In other ways, I intentionally create client relationships built on trust, transparency and empathy. The sum of it, is that I stripped away what I’ve always been told needs to happen in order to do well, I followed my own path, and it has built stronger relationships than I could ever imagine. So I wanted to share with you some of those themes to perhaps adopt for your own business and the professional relationships you are building.
Prioritize Empathy
Clients who have worked with me can attest I have three key discussions at the start of every engagement. Not in the middle, not toward the end when something comes up, but at the beginning to set the tone and expectation. In my discovery calls, I explain my process and values, which includes transparency and empathy. I then reinforce the requirement of empathy in our partnership in the client agreement — I include an “empathy clause”. Then, in our kick off meeting, the FIRST slide I cover is the partnership expectation of kindness. Without fail, all three of these touch points make my client’s smile and they express how much they appreciate it.
Now, if you’re smirking and saying how dumb it is I do this, that’s ok. In fact, I’ve been told by a past employer that it’s is a poor way of speaking about clients to openly talk about my ‘empathy clause’. If you’d asked me 10 years ago I would have also thought it unprofessional and stupid. But may I suggest the value that it creates in my partnerships?
- It weeds out those partnerships who are going to cause you serious stress and frustration
- It creates mutual accountability to show respect throughout the engagement
Truth be told, clients have loved this and I have engaged in the most wonderful client relationships because of the value I place on this, if nothing else. I’ve had past employers tell me this isn’t a good practice, yet every single client I’ve worked with since being on my own has expressed the complete opposite. I’m a fan of data, and the data would suggest that it is in fact a valuable tool in your client experience tool belt, contrary to what traditional business models want you to believe.
Authenticity
This is a scary one. With multiple degrees in marketing & PR, I am quite literally trained to be mindful of the language used online and to filter every sentence and word through a “worst case scenario interpretation” before publishing. This training served me well throughout my career in some ways, but in other ways it often made me a difficult team member to work with because I was always challenging the smallest details. Without question, this was because I was working for someone else and always afraid to make a misstep and lose my job. But when I decided to go into business for myself, I decided on my own perspective on the matter and what I was willing to risk.
As social media has continued to play a prominent role in business, it is true that ‘everything we say and do can and will be held against us in the court of business.’ It’s also true that natural human psychology has taken over and you can spot inauthenticity within 15 seconds. The conundrum, then, is how to balance being authentic in the digital space, while putting your best foot forward to attract new business. Some resort to just not being online, but I believe that’s a missed opportunity. For the brave souls who put themselves out there, schedule their monthly content calendars, and produce content, I’d offer a few suggestions here:
- If you’re questioning whether something will be controversial, it’s always advisable to take a pause, look inside, and question motives.
- However, if you’re not harming others or perpetuating harmful beliefs, I’m of the mind that you should simply be true to who you are.
- This means showing all sides of you. Yes, it’s great to promote your business, but people don’t buy products or a business, they buy the story and YOU.
I’ve learned that my clients have appreciated seeing who I am as a professional just as much as they’ve appreciated seeing my personal values displayed. They understand my drivers, my heart and my passions and they trust it. And it doesn’t just regard social media. Each touch point with my clients is valued and I take the time to take care of them, allowing personal sides of Ciara to be present in our discussions.
Now, best practices tell me it’s time to wrap up this article. I could go on about the habits, character and practice of business relationships, but I prioritized two here that I think are foundational (I’ll unpack more eventually). Unpopular Opinion: Without these, nothing else will work well for you in the long run. The reality is, everyone has their way of conducting business — you’ll discover what works for you over time and what doesn’t. My cautionary tale is that the Version 1.0 of Ciara was always told I’m too harsh. Version 2.0 of Ciara is often told I’m not assertive enough and am too nice. What I’ve found is you will never be successful in business living by others’ standards and you will never fit a mold that everyone accepts. You must find what works for you, and it’s my hope to provide some suggestions to try out for yourself.
